Why Do Women Choose Flawed & Toxic Men?
Hey Ladiez,
We all want to find a good man and be in a healthy relationship that will bring the best out of us. Although these are our intentions along the way many of us end us doing the complete opposite. Fear of loneliness and pressure to be in a relationship can push women to choose to date men that are not suitable companions for them. Of course there are more reasons why women choose to date men that are not good for them; nevertheless, I can not understand any reason why a women would willingly begin a relationship with someone you know is trouble. It seems simple to me; if you know that a car is a lemon you would not buy it, right. Well, a woman should be more protective of her life. I believe that the main reason why women choose to date guys that may be flawed and toxic is because they truly believe that they will be able to change them. They tend to believe that they are special enough to change the ways of a bad guy and that all he needs is love, support, and a ride or de chick to stay by his side. What they don’t realize is that no how special you are or how much you love and support your man it will never be enough to change him. And that should not be your mission. In a relationship giving your love is all that is required. Sometimes when you have a genuine connection with a person you may affect change in their lives but they need to be in a mind state to accept change and want to change. When you go into a relationship trying to change your spouse and it does not happen ( and it won’t) you may develop feelings of failure within yourself. The only way to avoid this is to avoid men that come pre packaged with issues. If a man does not have a job or any ambitions to succeed when you meet him he will most likely continue down that path during your relationship if you decide to get with him. There are certain things a man should want for himself and you are only setting yourself up more problems if you try to go get them for him. Completely providing for a grown man does not prove that you love him; doing so will only cause you problems financially and in your relationship, as you begin to look at him as less than a man. There is another issue I just have to address because it seems that several women do not think straight, or in some cases at all, when it comes to this subject. Please listen closely ladiez, if a man is not doing his job as a father to the children he already has things will not be different if you choose to have children with him. In my opinion, a man that has several children and not dealing with his responsibilities is not a good catch and is not worth getting involved with at all so I do not understand how any self-respecting woman would not only start a relationship with someone like this but take it further and have his children. Stop kidding yourself. He will not treat you and your children better simply because he loves you, you treat him good, your “stuff” got him hooked, or any other reason. Wake up, please! I apologize, but this truly upsets me because when a woman make such a stupid decision she is not only creating a difficult situation for herself but she is also setting up a difficult life for her child(ren). Another way to ensure that you will not get involved with a man that may have issues is to take your time when getting into relationships and really get to know your person of interest. People are good at hiding things especially when they really want something. Choosing the right spouse will not only save you from heartache, pain and financial hardships but in some cases it can also save your life. Not taking your time, being thorough while getting to know someone, and being ignorant about a man’s circumstances can put anyone woman in a life threatening situation. Dating is supposed to be fun, which is why many women don’t do enough thinking and analyzing before stepping into the dating field. However, if you have ever been in a relationship that turned bad and needed to get out you are well aware of how difficult it is to remove yourself from a toxic relationship; So my solution is to try not get into them in the first place. The state of a relationship is the reflection of the people who are in it which means that if you date a man with issues you will most likely have issues in your relationship. Life is too short to live in unhappiness so you should do everything in your power to make sure that every moment, every person, every relationship, and every little thing in your life is worth your time and energy. You deserve the best, stop settling for less.
