The #1 cause of dating drama is trusts issues and we disscussed that last week.  This week we will focus on the second major cause of dating drama which is people misrepresenting themselves at the beginning and during the relationship.   Of course, this can cause plenty of drama.  There are so many webistes and companies dedicated to gathering and providing information for people who fear that their partner or romantic interest is not being truthful.  People lie about their occupation, their age, and where they live.  In some severe cases some people lie about their name, relationship status, and even their sexual orientation.  Being lied to or misled about these kinds of things can cause many problems and drama.   People are dishonest about who they are for many reasons; two of those reasons are because they are not comfortable with who they are and because they have something to hide.  For whatever the reason they chose to lie, it doesn’t make it right.   If you are going through something like this or you suspect that your mate may be prepertrating a fraud you need to take action immediately.   If you know for a fact that you have been lied to you should end the relationship  as soon as you can because you can not build a solid relationship on lies.  No matter how long  you have been in the relationship if your partner misrepresented themsleves everything that you shared together was false.   If you suspect that someone that you are dating may be lying about who they are the first thing you should do is investigate.  Do what you can do find out as much as you can about them. If things do not seem right you should let go of that relationship.   You can not have a healthy relationship with someone if you don’t know exactly who they are.  To avoid the drama that could develop from an unstable relationship the best thing to do is to just cut all ties completely and move on.  Continuing in a realtionship with someone who could not be truthful about who they are will only bring you years of problems and drama.  As you continue on your journey to find the love of your life please remember to be careful and beware of liars and losers who can’t even bear to be themselves.

This article was written in springnote.

Personally, I  don’t know much about  the dating scene being that I have been married for 10years.   However, I am well informed about how difficult dating can be through the lives of my friends and others who come to me for advice.  I have seen it get so difficult for some people that they want to give up on finding their soul mate.  There is so much drama to deal with when it comes to dating and finding true love.  Where does all the drama come from and how do we deal with it without throwing in the towel.   Finding  that someone special to share your life with is one of thr greatest gifts of life.  It’s my hope that every human being has that beautiful experience.  My fear is that because of the difficulties and drama that people will give up or simply settle.  From what I understand most of the drama stems from not being able to trust others.  Usually people develop trust issues because they have suffered heartache or they know someone who has suffered greatly.  It’s a natural reaction; when you get hurt the next time you want to protect yourself; however, keeping your heart under lock & key will leave you lonely.  If you find yourself  in situation  I suggest you leave the past in the past and just jump right in.  Negative things happen in our lives but you must continue to live.  The same thought applies to dating.  Not every person is the same, so you can not attach someone else’s wrong doings to everyone else you meet.   If you are beginning or in a relationship with someone that has trust issues there a few ways to minimize the drama that can come about.  If you are only in the early stages of the relationship and the lack of trust is a stumbling block in the relationship you must immediately evaluate your feelings for that person.   If you find that you are not really  that into him or you don’t feel that you two can have a future together it would be wise to end the relationship.  Ending the relationship at that  time would be the best thing to do because more drama will develop the longer you stay together.   On the flip side, if you truly care for that person I suggest you go about things a little differently.  If you can see a future with this person  you should do what you can to show your partner that they can put thier trust in you.  Being patient will also help the situation.  Not putting too much pressure on them will ultimately make a difference.  There is always going to be some drama when it comes to relationships but to increase your happiness you must make choices that minimizes the drama.

This article was written in springnote.

Hey Ladiez,

   One of the biggest issues that seem to pop up in trlationships during the summer months is infidelity and temptaion.  The number of cases of  cheating tends to rise in the heat because people are wearing less clothing.  So of course the level of temptation is going to rise as well.  So what do you if you are faced with a situation like this.  If you either caught your significant other checking out another woman or if they fall victim to the temptation of a hot body and a short skirt.  The one thing you should not do is blame yourself or start trying to figure out what is wrong with you.  Although some women wear scantily clad clothing simply to entice, she is not the blame either.  Just because you are in a relationship your ability to notice a nice looking man or woman doesn’t fade; nonetheless, you must always show respect for your partner.  Being an adult is about having self control and if your spouse does not have enough self control to not eye other women inappropiately in your presence then you need to reevaluate that relationship.   We, as women, are not exempt from this behavior.   Your disrespectful actions can also cause drama and maybe even end your relationship.  As I previously stated before it’s normal to notice a handsome man while in a relationship but you must always respect yourself, your spouse, and your relationship.  

Now that we covered how to deal with you or your mate eyeing others it’s time to discuss how to deal with the situation if things go further than a look.  There are times when a look at a hot body is not enough. Sometimes people want to sample the goods.  If this happens to you and your mate falls victim to the forbidden fruit I believe there is only one thing to do.  Leave.  If you are trying to avoid drama it would be best to just let go of the relationship because I gurantee only more drama will come.  You will have a difficult time forgiving and forgetting their indisgression.  You also face the risk of them cheating again.  If it is you that cheats, the first thing you should do is admit your guilt.  I know that seems crazy but if you really care for your spouse that is the best thing to do.  In thissituation you might believe that it is your mate’s responsibility to decide the fate of your relationship but I believe that no matter how much you love that person you should take a break from the relationship.  If you were able to cheat on your spouse there is a problem somewhere and you should  take some time to figure out why you were unfaithful.  Although it might be painful at first, this decision will lead to less drama in the future whether in this or a new relationship.

This article was written in springnote.

Hey Ladiez,

If you were blessed with the precious gift of motherhood you are aware that it is not at all an easy task.  In fact, it can be quite overwhelming.  Sometimes many of us lose the joy motherhood because we become  stressed or worn out from our many duties.   Although it’s natural for a mom to be a little stressed it is usually not an emotion they want to experience often.  So how do you deal with this stress and continue being a good mother.  I believe that a good way to help remove the stress from our lives is to seek assistance, support, and advice from others.  One of the biggest issues that moms face is  trying to do it all.   I think that we could all benefit greatly from a support system.  Find a group of people that you trust and depend on ( they don’t have to all be mothers) to help you through this journey of motherhood.  I guarantee that with a support system your life will be much easier and less stressful.  You can also find asssitance in websites, books, and groups.  The goal is to get all the help you need from reliable and trustful sources.  And you must always remember that getting help doesn’t make you less of a mother, it makes you a smart and resourceful mother.  Although most mothers are smart, strong, and great at multitasking we all could use a little assistance every now and then.    The last thing that you want to do is tire yourself to the point that you are not any good to your children.  In conclusion, I hope that you realize that you are not alone and it is best for you and your children for you to reach out  and get the help that you may need to be the best you can be.

This article was written in springnote.

When the gift of motherhood is bestowed upon us it is usually the greatest gift of all.  However, unlike most other gifts motherhood comes with a great deal of responsibility.  The issue is that although we are blessed with such a wonderful gift we are not given any instructions on how to care for such a precious being.  We are thrown into a sensitive situation with no prior experience.  Even if you had experience babysitting or caring for children nothing can prepare  you for the job of being a mother.  As a mom I have realized that you learn as you go.  You will make plenty of mistakes but that does not mean that you are a bad parent.  You must learn from your mistakes, give your all, and always have your child’s best interest at heart.  As a parent you must understand that you are raising a human being that will onr day be a member of soceity.  Your job is not just to provide shelter, food and education for your child.  You must also teach your child how to be a good person and the best way to do that is to lead by example.  It is much easier  to just tell your child how to act, behave, and be a good person; however, it is much better to just lead by example.  Children watch everything we do so if you really want them to learn something  just do  it yourself.    I am fed up with parents putting the responsibility of being a positive role model on sports figures, actors, and entertainers.  You are your child’s first teacher so you will have a chance to teach them things before they are corrupted by the outside world.  Living a constructive life, being kind to others, and always trying to be the best person you  can be is the best lesson you can teach your child.  Just like many other things in this world actions speak louder than words when it comes to parenting.

This article was written in springnote.

The power of a mother’s love , unfortunately, is not something every child will be privileged to experience.  I give thanks to God and my mother everyday because I have first hand knowledge on just how powerful a mother’s love can be.  Years ago when I lay helpless in a Charleston, SC hospital bed it was my mother’s love and constant prayers that helped me make it through.  My condition was serious and it was difficult for my mom to see her firstborn, who was strong and independent in such a weak and dependent state.  As a mother you really don’t see what you are really made of until your child  is going through something.  Although it was difficult for her,  my mom stayed by my side every single day.  Doing everything in her power to get me healthy and happy.  I often wondered how and why was my mom able to do all of this and continue on with a smile on her face and joy in her heart.  I just didn’t get it.  That was until I became a mom myself.  I realized that although it broke her heart to see me in that condition my mother remained strong because I needed her to.  Seeing her with such a positive outlook on things gave me hope and that was more powerful than any medications the doctors gave me.  What she felt and needed wasn’t important to her anymore; her only concern was getting me well.   That’s the love of a mother.  She could have broke down and allowed her emotions to take over; nevertheless, she knew that doing that would only hinder my physical and mental recovery.  Her love for me was so powerful that I did recover from my injuries much faster than expected .  A mother’s love is unbreakable, undeniable , and unlike any other.   Which is why  this emotion has so much power.  If you are bleesed, as I was, you have felt the love and experienced the power in action.   If  by chance you were not fortunate enough to know the power of a mother’s love please understand that this is no reflection on you.  Whether you had a mom who didn’t show that love or your mother  just was not there, it is never your fault.   Life does not always put us in  circumstances that are pleasant ; however, not receiving  that love should not keep you from having that love for your own child.  The power of a mother’s love can work wonders in a child’s life and I pray that one day every child will get to witness the wonders of a mother’s love.

When you make the decision to begin a journey of self-renewal you must first realize that it will not be easy.  You must also understand that it will take 100% participation and dedication in order to achieve results.  We recently discussed the first step on your path, recognizing the need for change.  If you do not realize that there is a need for change there will be no improvement.  The next steps are accepting and committing to change.  Although we may be aware of the need for change in our lives it can be difficult actually accepting those changes.  It’s more comfortable to live in your circumstances.  We fear the unknown therefore we are slow to accept the changes we need.  Accepting the fact that we need change is also admitting that we are not perfect.  Although we all know that we are not perfect it is still very difficult to admit.  However, as an adult you must learn to accept certain things even if they may be unpleasant.  When it comes to committing to change this becomes difficult for some because it involves work and doing things differently.  Many of us have commitment issues anyway so committing to something that you do not know the outcome of can be an obstacle for many. It amazes me how some people complain about the state of their lives but do not want to do anything to change their circumstances.  If you are truly committed to change you will do anything in your power to achieve it.  It bothers me to see some people put so much time and energy into negative activities that will do nothing for their personal development and slack off when it comes to doing something that will improve their lives.  Commit to positive change and I guarantee you will be satisfied with the outcome.

Hey Ladiez,

We all know that life can get hectic and even too much to bear at times.  All of us have also hated our life circumstances at one point or another.  The question is what do we do in those moments.  Many people are searching for answers, relief, and quick fixes to their issues but most are not willing to put in any work.  If you find yourself stuck in a rut or unhappy with your job, relationship , or life in general it is at that moment that change is needed.  An issue many people have is realizing when change is needed in their lives.  They continue on in a negative situation knowing that it is unhealthy.  Recognizing the need for change is the first step to renewing yourself.   This is a task one must take on themselves because others may notice the need for change but if you don’t realize that need then effective change will not occur.  You must recognize the areas of your life that need change and improvement and then work from there.  Once you have realized what you need and want to change in your life you can continue on your journey of self renewal.

Day after day most of us play the role of mother, wife, employee, daughter, sister and friend. These roles usually keep us very busy. Sometimes we can get so caught up in the day to day aspects of our lives that we tend to forget to take time for ourselves. Although you are helping and giving to others you must learn how to be a little selfish and give to and help yourself. You should try to take at least 30 mins-1 hr. a day just to do something for you. Whether it is reading, watching your favorite television show, a long bath, or writing in your journal; it needs to be about you and in no way be of assistance to anyone else. Taking this time is not only a good idea but it is also mandatory if you want to be able to continue being superwoman and care for everyone else. You can’t be at your best if you are stressed, tired, and overwhelmed. So Ladiez, it’s okay to be a little selfish sometimes and when you are feeling rundown not to feel guilty about taking a few moments for yourself to rejuvenate.

P.S. It is also wise to take Me Vacation for a few days at least once a year.